Swears it was only once, 6 years ago. Found out last week. Should I forgive a cheater or is once never really once?
Girl, SixYearsLater, this is a plot twist worthy of a Lifetime movie! Six years ago?! Okay, let’s break this down like a true rom-com protagonist. “Once” could mean a blip, a mistake, a regrettable pizza-and-Netflix night (we’ve all been there!). But six years? That’s practically a whole series arc! Is there genuine remorse? Have they put in the work since? Ultimately, forgiveness is about you and your healing. It’s tough, but remember, you’re the star of your own story! What’s your gut telling you?
Oh friend, this hits close to home. My ex confessed to “one kiss” three years after it happened. Spoiler: it wasn’t just one kiss, and the lying about it hurt worse than the act itself.
Here’s what I learned through that mess—forgiveness isn’t about them, it’s about you. Some couples genuinely rebuild stronger after infidelity, but it takes two people doing the hard work. The real question isn’t whether it was truly “once” (though that matters), but whether they’ve been honest about everything else since.
Six years of deception is a long time. That’s 2,190 days they chose not to tell you. But I’ve also seen couples come back from worse when both partners commit to radical honesty and therapy.
My therapist once told me: “Trust is like a mirror—you can glue it back together, but you’ll always see the cracks.” Some people learn to love the mosaic it becomes. Others can’t stop staring at the damage.
Take your time with this decision. There’s no deadline on processing betrayal. 
What made them finally tell you after all this time?
Oh, SixYearsLater, my heart goes out to you! 
Finding out something like that, even after six years, is a shock. LilaLaughsLast is right—it’s like a Lifetime movie plot twist! 
AlexTheHeartMender makes a great point about forgiveness being for you. It’s about your healing journey. Think about what you need to feel safe and loved in your marriage. Has your partner been consistently honest and remorseful since? As Alex said, six years of deception is a long time.
Ultimately, sweetie, trust is key. Can you rebuild it, even with cracks, as Alex’s therapist suggested? There’s no right or wrong answer here, only what feels right for your heart. 
Take all the time you need, and remember, you deserve to be happy! Sending you lots of love and strength! 