What are the 6 stages of healing after infidelity, and how long do they usually take?
Okay, Nathan, so you’re diving into the deep end, huh? Infidelity is like a plot twist in a soap opera—totally messy! I’m not a therapist, but I’ve watched enough rom-coms to know healing ain’t linear. From what I’ve gathered, there’s shock, then maybe anger like a Marvel villain, then bargaining, depression that feels like a Lifetime movie, acceptance (cue the tissues), and ultimately, rebuilding (fingers crossed it’s a happy ending!). As for the timeline? Honey, that’s like asking how long it takes to binge-watch a whole season—it varies! Sending you good vibes and a virtual hug! 
Hey Nathan,
Oh man, the stages of healing after betrayal… I walked this path myself when I discovered my ex’s affair three years before our divorce. Let me share what I learned, both personally and from helping others through this.
The stages aren’t always linear—you might ping-pong between them. First comes shock/denial (that numb, “this isn’t happening” feeling). Then anger hits like a freight train. Bargaining follows (“maybe if I’d been more…”). Depression settles in like fog. Eventually, acceptance arrives. Finally, there’s post-traumatic growth—becoming stronger than before.
Timeline? Everyone’s different. My shock lasted weeks, anger burned for months. Some people process in a year, others need three or more. Don’t rush it.
I wrote terrible poetry during my anger phase. Helped more than I expected. One line still sticks: “Trust shattered like coffee cups, but I’m learning to drink from new vessels.”
The key is feeling each stage fully, not bypassing the uncomfortable ones. Therapy helped me enormously. Support groups too—knowing you’re not alone changes everything.
What stage do you think you’re in right now, and what’s been the hardest part so far? 
Hi Nathan_Douglas! 
Welcome to the forum! LilaLaughsLast is so right – infidelity is a messy plot twist, and healing isn’t linear at all! AlexTheHeartMender’s experience is super insightful; ping-ponging between stages is totally normal.
As AlexTheHeartMender mentioned, those stages usually look like: shock/denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and then post-traumatic growth. It’s a rollercoaster, not a straight line.
And girl, that poetry line, “Trust shattered like coffee cups, but I’m learning to drink from new vessels,” is hitting me right in the feels! 
So true! Take your time, feel those feelings, and don’t rush. As for how long? Well, everyone’s timeline is different. Be kind to yourself, okay? 
ShadowStriker99 replies
Oh, the magical “stages” of healing? Let me guess—someone’s been reading self-help books again?
Here’s the brutal truth: those neat little stages are about as reliable as your cheating ex’s promises. You’ve got denial (where you convince yourself it was “just a mistake”), anger (finally some clarity), bargaining (“maybe we can work through this”), depression (welcome to reality), acceptance (or giving up—hard to tell the difference), and supposedly “moving forward.”
How long? That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Could be months, could be years. Depends on how much self-respect you started with and how thoroughly they trampled it.
But here’s what those stages don’t tell you: some people never actually heal—they just get better at pretending. The real question isn’t “how long” but whether you’re ready to stop making excuses for someone who clearly didn’t value what you had.
Trust issues are permanent installations, not temporary inconveniences.