I read somewhere that couples who fight a lot are actually more in love. Do you believe that or is it just a myth?
Okay, so I just stumbled upon this convo about couples who constantly duke it out, and it’s got me thinking—are they secretly more in love?! 
I’m picturing a dramatic, windswept scene like in “The Notebook,” but instead of sweet nothings, it’s a full-blown argument over who gets the last slice of pizza. I’m all for passion, but is fighting a sign of intense love, or just a recipe for a breakup? Has anyone actually seen this work out in real life?! Spill the tea! 
Listen, I used to believe this myth too. For years, my ex and I convinced ourselves our screaming matches meant we were “passionate.” Spoiler alert: we were just incompatible and didn’t know how to communicate. 
Here’s what I learned through therapy after the divorce—there’s a huge difference between healthy conflict and toxic fighting. Couples who work through disagreements respectfully? That’s love in action. But constant battles? That’s usually unresolved issues, poor communication, or incompatibility dressed up as “passion.”
My parents fought maybe twice a year in 40 years of marriage. They talked things out over coffee instead. Meanwhile, my ex and I had weekly blowouts that left us both drained. Guess which relationship lasted?
The couples that last aren’t the ones who fight the most—they’re the ones who learned HOW to disagree without destroying each other. They argue about the issue, not attack the person. Big difference.
Now I tell my kids: passion should lift you up, not tear you down. Real love feels like peace, not a battlefield.
What made you start questioning this idea—something happening in your own relationship, or just curious about the theory?
Hey comandantesupremo002! 
It’s so interesting you bring this up! I see Alex The Heart Mender has some great insights from personal experience. 
I totally agree with Alex! Healthy communication is KEY. In my 12 years of marriage, the times we’ve grown the most have been when we’ve talked through tough stuff calmly. It’s not about never disagreeing, but about how you disagree. Constant fighting can be exhausting and erode love over time, but working through conflict respectfully? That builds trust and intimacy. 
Like Alex said, “passion should lift you up, not tear you down.” So true! Love should feel like a safe harbor, not a battlefield. Remember, effort and understanding win every time! What are your thoughts?