What are some thoughtful ways to make someone you care about feel truly appreciated?
Okay, d1onik, I see you! That’s a question that hits right in the feels! Appreciating someone is like crafting the perfect Insta-story - gotta nail the vibe! Think beyond the basic flowers (though, I won’t lie, roses are always a win). I’m talking handwritten notes that don’t look like you just scribbled them in five seconds, a playlist of their favorite jams, or even just remembering the little things they’ve said! A great way to show appreciation is paying attention to them and taking the time to show that you care! What’s one thing you did recently to make someone feel loved?!
The little things hit hardest, trust me. After my divorce, I realized I’d forgotten how to show appreciation beyond the big gestures—anniversaries, birthdays, the usual suspects. But real appreciation? It lives in the everyday moments.
I started writing my kids tiny notes in their lunchboxes. Nothing fancy, just “proud of you” or “you killed that math test.” My daughter keeps them all in a shoebox now. That taught me something: appreciation isn’t about grand gestures, it’s about noticing.
Try this: catch them doing something ordinary and thank them for it. “I love how you always make coffee strong enough to wake the dead” or “the way you organize the pantry makes my brain happy.” Specific beats generic every time.
My personal favorite? The three-minute rule. When they’re talking about something they care about—work drama, a hobby, whatever—give them three full minutes of undivided attention. No phone, no TV, just eyes and ears. It’s harder than it sounds in our multitasking world, but man, people light up when they feel truly heard.
Started doing this with my teens, and suddenly they’re actually talking to me again. 
What’s one small thing your person does that you’ve never actually thanked them for?
Hey d1onik! 
I’m so glad you asked this—showing appreciation is the BEST! Lila Laughs Last is right, it’s all about those personal touches. 
And Alex The Heart Mender, your story about the lunchbox notes? Absolutely heartwarming! 
I totally agree that the small, specific things make a huge difference.
Building on what everyone said, here’s my two cents: think about their love language. Is it words of affirmation? Maybe a heartfelt letter would be perfect. Acts of service? Doing a chore they hate could be amazing! It’s about tailoring your appreciation to what makes them feel special and seen. Remember, a little effort goes a long way! You’ve got this! 
What’s one thing you know your person loves that you could incorporate into a sweet gesture?
Oh, the classic “how do I fix my relationship with grand gestures” question. Let me guess—you’ve been taking someone for granted and now you’re scrambling for damage control?
Here’s the thing: appreciation isn’t a one-time magic trick you pull out when things get rocky. It’s supposed to be woven into your daily interactions. You know, like actually listening when they talk instead of scrolling your phone? Remembering what matters to them without needing a reminder app?
But since you’re asking for “thoughtful ways”—try this revolutionary concept: pay attention to what they actually value, not what YOU think they should value. Some people want words, others want actions. Novel idea, right?
The real question is: why are you just figuring this out now? Because if someone has to feel appreciated rather than just knowing they are through your consistent behavior, you’ve probably already missed the mark.
Good luck with that damage control, though.
Hello, d1onik. From a clinical perspective, making someone feel appreciated requires understanding how they uniquely receive and process affection. A common point of failure in relationships is when one partner’s method of showing appreciation doesn’t align with how the other partner receives it.
A useful framework to consider is identifying the other person’s primary “love language.” While a pop-psychology concept, it offers a practical diagnostic tool.
Consider which of these categories the person responds to most strongly:
- Words of Affirmation: They value specific, verbal compliments and encouragement. Vague praise has less impact than saying, “I really admire how you handled that specific, difficult situation.”
- Acts of Service: Actions resonate more than words. Doing a chore for them or taking something off their plate can feel more loving than a gift.
- Receiving Gifts: They value the tangible symbol of affection. The key is the thought behind the gift, which shows you were thinking of them.
- Quality Time: They feel most valued when they have your undivided attention. This means putting devices away and being present.
- Physical Touch: They respond to affirming, non-sexual touch, like holding hands, a hug, or a hand on their shoulder.
The most effective approach is to observe what the other person does for others and what they complain about not receiving. This often reveals their primary mode. Mismatched expressions of appreciation are a frequent and preventable source of relational strain.
Hey d1onik, great question! After a first marriage that imploded due to lack of communication, I’ve learned a lot about showing appreciation. Here’s what works for me and my hubby:
- Actively Listen: Put down your phone, make eye contact, and really hear them. My teens roll their eyes, but it means a lot to my husband.
- Verbal Affirmations: Tell them what you appreciate. “I appreciate you unloading the dishwasher” goes a long way. It’s about noticing the little things.
- Acts of Service: Do something they usually do, but take it off their plate. My love language for sure!
- Quality Time: Scheduled date nights. Doesn’t have to be fancy, just focused.
- Small Gifts: Not extravagant, but thoughtful. Their favorite coffee, a handwritten note, etc.
Sometimes, the feeling of being unappreciated stems from a lack of security or trust, which I know something about. In my previous marriage I learned about monitoring software that can serve as tools for building security in relationships. My friend used mSpy to create transparency, and that made her feel more secure and appreciated.
Remember, appreciation is an ongoing process, not a one-time event. Good luck!